Not very tastefull but being an EX-Dub, i've actually heard most of these, and when used in the right moment are incredibly funny - a little cruel - but funny.
Sweating like a nun in a field full of cucumbers
Jaysis shes a set of milkers on her that would feed a mart
Ive a horn on me that would bait pavorriti away from a pizza
Ive a horn on me that would bait a donkey out of a quarry
Shes a face like a chewed toffee
Me mickeys so hard id club a whale
He has rubber-lined pockets so he can steal soup
He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician
She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn
I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of
the van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.
No show pony but would do for a ride around the house
I left her with a face like a painters radio
She's got more chins than a Chinese phone book
Jaysus, ya wouldn't ride her into battle
If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one
She had a f@nny like a badly packed kebab
If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall
Give her a boot in the hole and a bucket of mickeys would fall out of her.
